It's For Real

sleepless nights i had thinking of you..
countless messages i sent just to be noticed..
but you didn't bother to respond..
i reached the point of confusion..
not knowing my actions..
can't understand how i truly feel..
is this what they call love?
when all you do is to day dream..
and try to figure things out?
to become conscious of what's right and wrong?
to be hurt and cry all night long?
if it is.. then i'm guilty..

recalling the time i knew you..
i knew right then..
cupid struck..
anxious - that's how i felt..
never thought of knowing you..
it was a bliss.

one day, i caught myself arguing with my thoughts..
if it's love i feel or just plain enchantment..
asked a couple of friends..
say, i'm in love, that's what they said..
i kinda know how i feel..
but is this for real?

depression came..
i hated it..
all i ever thought of was you..
learning about how things were going..
meeting up with the girl you like and communicating with other else..
hey, i was envious..
it's worst than depression..
i can't hide it..
people would perceive that i have it..
but what can i do?
i don't have a choice..
BUT
to let this intuition go..

though it's heartbreaking but i have to..
it's the only thing that's left for me to do..
it hurts..
yes, it badly does..
cause all along i was taken by you..
just to be aware you don't feel the same..
it pains to hear a sad truth..
i need to accept it..
feel it and live my life with it..

thoughts of you makes me fathom in grief..
how foolish i was, wasting my time..
i know for a fact it's not you whom i'll end up with..
and for sure im gonna find someone better than you do..
someone whom i deserve to have..

i hate to say this..
I LOVE YOU
but
GOODBYE
this i speak and swear for my whole life..
not to fall for somebody like you..

im wiser now..
and stronger than before..
this i know..
it's for real..

written: april 07, 2006.