A Talk With Grief.

Each awakening represents an opportunity of a new life. A life that is as fresh as the morning dew. The new day signals a new beginning and a new hope to live a life that surpasses yesterday’s remorseful lapses. This serves as a friendly reminder to live a life with zero regrets - a life that allows happiness to just fill in your empty cup when it wants to reside inside you. A happiness that freely sits and is not bothered with complexities. A lot of people had lived blissfully even if they had committed regretful mistakes. And that fact is a good measure of how they look at life and how they value it.

As I wrote the paragraph above, I do not belong to the kind of people who never takes time to worry of their past blunders. I haven’t reached that point in my life – a worry-free life. Day by day, I still look back to every mistake done. And as I do that, my tears rundown like a waterfall. No matter how hard I convince myself to not to ponder on those memories they keep on coming back, like my brain is their permanent address and at times they return unexpectedly. I hate it when I cannot foresee the things that pass by me. I never want to see myself being defeated by those mere images of the past anymore. I do not want the thought of myself crying so hard and eventually break down. At the moment, my cup measures half happiness and half regrets. I, sure, am happy and contented of the life I was given. I know my life is a gift from up Above. But I do not know how to associate the elation I possess to the dejection I hold. I guess I had embraced sadness too tightly that is why it is so difficult to just let it drift away from me. Even if I declare to have found my happiness still animosity will always rush in and take the former’s place. Yes, I found my happiness this time but I’m not quite sure if that happiness caught a sight of me.

Grief and I, we were talking a few moments ago. Grief was the one who induced me to write this. I deeply wish my happiness did not ask for a sign for I wasn’t there. But this time, I will be the one to plead for a certain sign. I am not a strong believer of it but just this time I will take this rare chance. Maybe and just maybe it is what was willed from the very beginning. In the end, what I want is an overflowing happiness that all the cups in this planet will be filled, not just mine but everyone’s. After all this is our place and we all deserve not just a touch of it but happiness as a whole.

Rest assured that Someone is watching over you and that Someone will never leave you. The happiness I’ve found at the moment may not be the real happiness for me but I know, that Someone has placed my happiness somewhere and I will continue to lead my life in journey of it. Someday soon, I fully know my cup will overflow.